Pandemonium, Please
by lepomme
Summary: Leave a Sorceress in Pandemonium Fortress and the place will live up to its name. A series of one-shots focusing on a fiery sorceress and her escapades within Pandemonium Fortress
1. Chapter 1

Pandemonium, Please

This is a silly Diablo II dump that I had to get out of my mind and into words. It features my personal favorite character, Tyrael. It also features Ulandra, a sorceress who is both a goof and extremely serious woman when it comes to her work. It also involves other silly things all taking place in the Pandemonium Fortress. I hope you enjoy. This will update when I get inspired to write another short silly event.

As always,

Le Pomme

Chapter 1: The Unbelievable Joy of Archangel Wings

The Sorceress, Ulandra sat back looking about the Pandemonium Fortress with some interest but for the most part the structure didn't intrigue her very much. No, what really drew her attention was something else. It wasn't the wide expanses of Hell or the people that wandered about the fortress, no, it was the Arch Angel Tyrael. More importantly, his wings.

They always intrigued her. Her first thought was to try and hit them like a cat with a string. She ached to swat at them. She dreamed of twisting them about her fingers and happily playing with them. But she kept that to herself...usually.

Now though she stepping out of a town portal, fresh from Hell smelling like brimstone, sulfur, and blood and she felt fantastic. There had to be something in the health potions. That was what she figured. Something in the health potions was making her feel giddy. Probably most likely it was because she drank a punch to many this run through Hell. She strode up the stairs and made a beeline for Tyrael bursting with her liquid courage, grinning like a two year old.

The archangel regarded her tilting his head at her pleasant mood for one who just came back from Hell. She didn't say a word and stopped in front of him looking him square in the eye, or at least where his eyes would be in the area of his hood.

"Can I help you, hero?"

Ulandra stared at him for a bit more before stepping to the side raising a hand...and gave his wings a swat giving a giggle at the sudden thrill that came up her arm from touching it. It was liking swatting at silk blowing in the wind. She ignore the Arch angel who gave a cough as the sorceress continued to happily play with his wings, the glowing appendages moving shyly about form her touch and other times caressing her like silvery webs. She laughed, "I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw you the first time!"

"Pardon?"

Tyrael seemed actually confused by her behavior turning to watch her play with his wings like they were there for her entertainment. Ulandra gave him a winning smile giving a tendril of his wings a firm tug causing him to jerk slightly and the tendril to snap out of her grip quickly, "They look so fun to play around with. I like touching them,"

The archangel coughed and turned taking his wings out of the sorceress's reach, "Are you feeling well hero?"

Ulandra frowned a bit putting her hands on her hips, "I'm feeling fine. There is no curse upon me that gives me the impulse to molest angel wings...I just wanted to,"

Tyrael shifted again and gave another cough. If she didn't know better, she would say the powerful archangel was at a loss of how to respond to this situation. She only grinned more and tried to sidle closer to get back at swatting at his exotic wings. He moved again, keeping them out of her reach, spreading them back far. It was a funny sight for sure of this sorceress trying to get around a rapidly retreating archangel.

"Come on, just one more touch and I'll be done!" Ulandra whinned slightly.

"Please mortal, they are ...delicate. I don't like them to be touched," He said in a gentle tone although she heard a tinge of embarrassment to them.

Delicate? They didn't feel all too delicate to her. Ulandra paused her brow furrowing and her face took on a serious expression. She thought hard, the pieces slowly clinking in her mind. She looked up to Tyrael who regarded her just a coolly.

"...is touching your wings some sort of angelic foreplay?"

If Tyrael had been standing he would've stumbled back. Floating he could limit his surprise at her question to his wings flaring up more. She had even said it with a straight serious face. He looked away, "They are...sensitive to touch," he said slowly, "Take that as you will,"

Ulandra nodded and then moved forward and swatted at a wing and he let out a sigh and let her do it. There was clearly no reasoning with this woman at the momment. The sorceress took her last few swats and turned to him giving a mysterious little smile, "Don't worry. I won't tell Tyrael," She said, "as long as you assist me maybe with demon slaying?"

"Hero, I told you that I am forbidden from intervening with your quest," Tyrael said with a slight sigh.

"I know. I was joking anyways. So long Tyrael,"

Then as suddenly as she had come, she was back through and back to Hell to fight the hordes of demons. The archangel self consciously turned to inspect his wings still feeling the touch of her hands on the delicate ends. So what if it was...somewhat stimulating to have someone playing with his wings? To tell mortals such things was like encouraging them to do it more. Tyrael sighed and turned to regard the fireplace.

"Mortals..." he grumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

The HellGrill

Because for some reason I was thinking about this when destroying the soulstone. Odd no? Or maybe it is just I feel Hadriel needs to be doing more and Tyrael should watch out about the highly persuasive words of mortals!

(Alternately entitled Corruption of Angelic Virtues with Alcohol and Delicious Grilled Meats )

Ulandra stood, hands on her hips with a frown gracing her lips as he glared up at the angel blocking her way, "So I took a wrong turn and ended up here before the Hellforge. So shoot me,"

Hadriel only crossed his arms, " I didn't mean to harsh, mortal. I was merely stating my orders-"

"to float around and do nothing but look pretty in front of Diablo's lair? How did you even get this far anyways without getting munched by demons and which way is the Hellforge. Please tell me friendly directions and questions to be answered is not interfering,"

The sorceress put her hands on her hips impatiently tapping her foot at the angel. Hadriel gave a sigh glancing askance, "The Hellforge is back the way you came and you go right instead of going left. You can't miss it, mortal,"

"and what about my question?" She asked with a frown. Hadriel only shook his head raising a hand, "that is a long story for another time maybe mortal,"

She frowned again watching him closely before letting out a sigh, "At least you gave directions. Hey," she paused as a slow smile spread across her face, "Why don't you come with me to the Hellforge? I bet it is quite boring floating in the same spot all the time,"

Hadriel tensed up before shaking his head quickly, "No. I cannot interfere mortal. I have orders from Archangel Tyrael-"

"Well when has he obeyed the rules to the dot anyways? Besides, you can come along to watch the great fall of the smith and then the shattering of Mephisto's soul stone yes? It will be a story to tell all the boys back home, right?" Ulandra goaded lightly moving to fiddle with her staff.

The angel went silent and tilted his head down lifting a hand under his hood to the chin hidden in the shadows of it. Ulandra waited patiently smiling sweetly as if that would entice the angel to follow her plan. Eventually Hadriel let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped in defeat, "I would...very much like to see the destruction of one of the prime evils, yes. Alright I will go but I will merely observe,"

"Good man!" Ulandra said with a broad smile lifting her staff up, "Then I'll get to the ass-kicking and you just sit back and watch a real hell raiser work!"

She let out a laugh and turned running off into the bowels of Hell. Hadriel was quick to follow although keeping a respectful distance from the sorceress as she blasted through the forces of Hell without any trouble. There was silent awe for the woman from her silent audience. The angel really couldn't help himself. She looked...lovely despite how crazed she looked as she waded through the mobs of demons and abominations of Hell.

Then she was face to face with the smith and she didn't even cower for a moment. She came forward lightning dancing from her staff into the massive demon, her hair a halo about her head as the electric charge caused it to rise. In the light of her spells it almost looked like she had the fiery wings of an angel. Hadriel watched on silently wishing he could join in but he held to his orders. He didn't interfere but reverently beheld the woman at work.

The battle ended with a clap of thunder and she stood panting, drained of her mana but grinning wide in triumph. She turned and gave Hadriel a broad smile and thumbs up, "And that is how you set em up and knock em down angel. I'll do the dirty work and you just float their prettily,"

She pushed up a sleeve of her outfit lightly and bent down rummaging in the charred smelling corpses before pulling out the hammer which was dripping with blood and other questionable substances. Ulandra wrinkled her nose and pulled a face, "ick..."

Hadriel only gave a slight chuckle drawing closer. He gave a bow of respect to the woman shaking his head, "I've never seen a display of such valor and courage, mortal. You are truly a model for Heaven to follow,"

Ulandra turned her head to hide the blush his comments had invoked, "Please. You could probably do worse if you weren't under orders. But now? The main event!"

Hadriel watched her stalked to the Hellforge placing the shard upon the stone and lift the hammer high above her head, "Watch closely Hadriel! You are witnessing history right here!"

Then with a loud cry and wavering slightly under the weight of the great hammer, she brought it down hard upon the forge shattering Mephisto's soul stone. It let loose a wild storm of energy and gems scattered about. Ulandra stumbled back on her rear from the shock and sat panting staring at the forge before grinning wide and dropping the hammer, "And take that Mephisto!" She declared happily.

The angel couldn't stop a chuckle feeling a weight lifting from the place with the destruction of the stone. Ulandra turned to him with a smile, "So now I say it is time to throw a party, yes? Right here after I come back from dropping off and collecting some things,"

"Here? Why here?" Hadriel asked tilting his head in a questioning manner.

The sorceress laughed and gestured to the forge as if it was the most obvious thing, "The forge is here of course! Celebrate where victory was held in the enemies territory to rub it in their faces. I think I deserve the bragging rights,"

"That you do," Hadriel admitted, "But still-"

"And I bet I can grill some of that meat I've been saving on the forge. Hell fire probably has the best fires for cooking wouldn't you say? Hot and smokey," Ulandra interrupted grinning wide, "And of course I have some spirits to share and we can start a game of cards! I have some money on me now!"

"drinking and gambling?" Hadriel gawked his wings spreading out a bit in alarm.

The sorceress only laughed shaking her head, "Oh come now Hadriel! I gamble with Jamella in the Pandemonium Fortress quite often and if drinking is so bad, then Tyrael would have already confiscated my stash no doubt! Live a little with me, okay? Not everyday a prime evil falls!"

The angel paused mulling her argument over before nodding sheepishly, "you are correct. Just this once then," 

"Excellent! Then wait here. I'll go get everything!" Quickly she opened a portal back to the fortress and disappeared inside. Hadriel briefly wondered if agreeing to the sorceress was possibly a mistake.

Tyrael watched Ulandra take the stairs two at a time up to her stash hurriedly opening the chest and dropping the demonic hammer into it. Then she rummaged about ignoring Cain who came over questioning her if the soulstone was destroyed or not.

"yes yes it is destroyed. Just ask Hadriel," she said distracted, pulling out a box filled with ice, mostly likely of her own creation and more then a few bottles of spirits, "Now excuse me, I have to collect up on the goods of the forge,"

Then she was back through the portal and Tyrael was left in confusion as to what was going on but decided not to ask. Mortals were odd. Ulandra was odder than most mortals. He only sighed and turned to regard the fireplace in silent contemplation. It was nothing to worry about...or at least he hoped so.

The smell of hell was being defiled by the slow smell of cooking meats radiating from the Hellforge. It was the smell of victory for the light. Laughter came from the area as well. The light laughter of a woman and a deep rumble of an angel having a right old time.

"Looks like you looose again mister Hadriel!" Ulandra slurred, tossing her cards down a bottle of liquor in the other hand. The Angel snorted and threw his cards down in disgust, his wings flaring up irritably, "Bah! You are cheating you little hag!"

She laughed and racked in her winnings again, "Another round Haaaadriel?"

"Of course! I WILL beat you this time!" Hadriel paused to take a deep pull from his half empty bottle as he sat slumped against the side of a rock with her playing cards. It had been a good few hours of eating, drinking, and playing cards. Ulandra was feeling great and she could tell the angel was wild with glee. His wings were splayed out positively radiating with light. More than once Ulandra had yelled at him to turn the light down.

Now he was hunched over barely able to hold his own cards but then, she couldn't talk. She was just as inebriate as the angel. He tossed his cards in eventually with a triumphant posture, "ha! Royal flush bitch!"

Ulandra burst out laughing at hearing the angel cuss like a barbarian, "Okay okay you win! God above I didn't know you had a mouth like that!"

"Hehe, only sometimes! Don't tell Tyrael or he'll be very cross with me," Hadriel said with a sheepish laugh.

"Oh like Tyrael is some sort of saint! He is just...just a pervert!" Ulandra declared, "I bet he is all floaty in the fortress probably looking down my shirt!"

Hadriel burst out laughing loosing his balance and keeling over onto the ground wings flaring up again, "By Hell's ass mortal! Maybe he is!"

Ulandra closed her eyes pulling a face as she raised a hand to fend off the bright light, "Turn down the nightlight Hadriel! You are going to blind me!"

"Hehe...sorry," He said dimming his wings again rubbing the back of his head, "You got any more booze over there?"

"Maybe," Ulandra said with a wide grin, "Shall I feed it to you lord angel?" she asked crawling over next to him running a hand up his side to where his wings met his back.

"Mmmmm...no I can handle that. No need to interfere with that," he said giving a light shudder at her touch.

The sorceress only grinned sneakily and started to run her hands up his wings playing with them and laughed as he gave a muffled moan burying his face against his arms, "Ugh...mortal? Would you...stop that?"

"Why? Aren't you enjoying it Hadriel?" She asked, actually confused by his words.

Hadriel paused and gave a slight nod, "Well yes mortal...but ...I'm not that drunk to commit interference of that nature!"

Ulandra blinked and then jumped back as if burned you, "you thought I was...oh! Oh Heaven's no! I just like playing with angel wings! They are so...funny,"

She laughed nervously before stumbling to her feet, "Maaaybe we should head back to the fortress yes?"

Hadriel pulled himself to his feet staggering a bit, "Uh yeah..."

She laughed and gave him a slight shove nearly sending him back to the ground, "Oh lighten up! It was a fun party no?" Ulandra said fumbling with the portal scroll.

"I must admit...it was a damn good party! I haven't had that much fun in years I'll tell you now!" Hadriel said giving a chuckle.

The portal flared to life and Ulandra put an arm around Hadriel's shoulder, "Now we go back to the fortress singing a victory song!" she hefted her bottle high in one hand and Hadriel only laughed clinking his nearly empty bottle to hers, "I'll drink to that!"

The pair of stumbling drunks stumbled their way righ through the portal and landed in a most dignified heap in the Pandemonium Fortress laughing loudly. Everyone turned to look in alarmed to see the drunk hero and the drunk angel untangle themselves and then continuing their slurred song.

Tyrael stood still in shock his wings held up tense in alarm at the sight before him. This could not be Hadriel. Hadriel who never did any sort of indulgence and always held to his duty. What had happened?

He floated closer to the pair crossing his arms, his very stance radiating shock yet an underlying irritation, "You better have a good excuse for this Hadriel..."

Hadriel tensed up under the gaze of the archangel and looked away shrinking under his superior's aura, "Uh well..."

"It is all my fault," Ulandra said getting to her feet and puffing her chest out looking Tyrael right under the hood where his eyes would be, "I did it. I goaded him into watching me fight to Hellforge, destroy the stone, and afterwards party with me over some good spirtis and grilled meats on the forge. We made all of Hell moan at the joy we had! We even gambled!"

"Gambled? Drinking? Roasting meats on the forge itself?" Tyrael sputtered, the archangel looking for once lost for words.

Ulandra nodded smiling, "We rubbed our victory in Hell's face! I would've invited you but your a pervert...and don't get all mad at me about gambling! It is legal here even! I do it with Jamella all the time!"

The woman in question looked away rubbing the back of her head as Tyrael just sighed raising a hand to rub the temples under his hood. The great hero, the slayer of Mephisto, Duriel, and Andariel...and now the woman who roasted meats on Hellforge and got an angel to indulge in debauchery. The archangel looked up then at the two and then roughly grabbed Ulandra by her shoulder with one hand, Hadriel's shoulder by the other, "You two are to remain in the fortress until you sober up and then I want to talk with both of you about this incident,"

Hadriel slumped and gave a weak nod, "Yes sir..."

As soon as Tyrael got his confirmation of his will he let the angel go to stumble to his room. Ulandra however frowned and looked up at him, fire blazing in her eyes, "Oh? Give me a lecture on following orders will you? You disregard rules all the time I bet and you are a pervert,"

Tyrael sighed seeing that she couldn't be reasoned with in this state letting her go, "Get some rest. Tomorrow I'll give you your assignment and I am not and have never expressed perverse behavior, mortal,"

"Sure. You just float up there to look down my shirt..."Ulandra grumbled as she stalked off, "And Hadriel is a prettier angel then you Tyrael! Does more then you ever did for me!"

The archangel felt a twinge at her words but only sighed shaking his head again, "That mortal..."was all he could mumble. However, briefly he wondered if the Lord of Terror, Diablo had a stab at his pride at the gall the young woman had.

Tyrael let out a slight chuckle. This time, at least, he would let her antics slide and even let Hadriel off lightly.

"What a soft archangel I've become," he mumbled out loud as he gazed into the fireplace.


	3. Chapter 3

Pandemonium, Please

And I am NOT dead! I will be updating at last after a long hiatus to dig myself out of schoolwork.

So wow, I didn't expect people to actually enjoy reading this brain vomit story I write when I get struck by crazy plot bunnies! But it seems some people do enjoy and eagerly await more of what I am writing. Well, fear not! I am still writing, it has just been a hectic few months, but things are calming down. And her is the next chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: In Which An Archangel Learns the Lord of Terror is Less Scary Then Millipedes

also this chapter could be entitled Ulandra Might Have Just Melted Tyrael's Patience

"It has been weeks hero. Why have you not confronted Diablo?"

Ulandra looked up from where she was sitting on the steps of Pandemonium Fortress, looking out over the burning planes of Hell. She looked unsure, and confused to Tyrael. The sorceress gave a shrug, "Well he is the lord of terror, can you blame me from being afraid?"

"Not at all...but I've seen you overcome greater odds. Trust in your abilities," Tyrael said, tilting his head, moving to take a seat next to her. It was so rare he got the chance to sit. The bulky armor he wore was by no means light and it often got fairly heavy.

Ulandra shoot her head frowning, "No, it isn't that kind of fear. I know I could beat him. Heck, Duriel wasn't even that scary. See, I can deal with demons but well...I've been thinking..."

Tyrael felt a prickle of dread at those fateful words. "I've been thinking" was never a good phrase to say when discussing anything with Ulandra. The woman's mind was confounding and some of the things that she thought about made little to no sense. It was kind of thinking that had her grabbing at his wings and roasts meats on the Hellforge while getting one of his men drunk enough he couldn't even fly straight.

And yet knowing the dangers, he still answered her, sealing his fate, "Oh? About what?"

The things he did to ensure the Burning Hells would gain no sway over humanity.

"Diablo is the lord of terror and I've read somewhere he can take any form he wants in order to capitalize on your fear, yes? So if the demon forms don't bug me, that leave only one form he would take..." Ulandra turned to look solemnly at Tyrael, "He would look like a millipede..."

"A millipede?" Tyrael asked, genuinely confused.

"Yes. A disgusting, horrible, slimy, gross, sickening millipede," Ulandra said. The sorceress made a face and wriggles her fingers as if to mimic the legs of the bug in question, "I cant stand them! They absolutely terrify me and if that is true, Diablo will no doubt be a giant millipede and I just simply cannot handle that!"

The arch-angel just stared at her, flabbergasted. His mind was vainly trying to claim that she was just fibbing and trying to get him going. Yet he knew deep inside, Ulandra was nothing but serious when she got a thought into her mind. Tyrael sighed, "But a millipede is harmless,"

"So what? People have fears. I fear millipedes terribly and I don't want to see what a nightmarish demonic one looks like, thank you very much," she crossed her arms, fixing him with a slight frown as if him questioning her fear was simple rude.

"But the world is at stake! Surely the other demons you faced have been ten times worse than a mere millipede!" protested Tyrael. Ulandra still frowned, unmoved by his words.

"So far the demons I could associate with things I don't fear easily. Andariel was a crabby spider bitch, Duriel was a bloated maggot, Mephisto was...a walking stick kite glowy...thing...but Diablo..." Ulandra shuddered, "He will turn himself into a giant millipede and I won't be able to handle it...maybe you should go and destroy Diablo,"

Tyrael sighed, "I would if I could, hero, but I am forbidden from interfering. You must do this task alo-"

"Can Hadriel come?" Ulandra interrupted with a hopeful look.

"Hadriel? Why?" Tyrael asked, feeling some weird irritation at her inquiring about his subordinate. Most likely it came from her interrupting him in mid-speech.

"Because Hadriel can come and watch for moral support and because Hadriel is kind of a best friend now after the whole Hellforge incident," Ulandra said with a shrug.

The arch-angel gave another sigh raising a hand to rub his temples under his hood, "Ah yes, who could forget your little...party at the Hellforge. That was very rash, hero,"

"And he never calls me hero, he calls me Ulandra," The sorceress said, interrupting Tyrael yet again, "And he doesn't talk all highbrow with me, and I bet he would understand my fear of millipedes completely!"

Now the arch-angel felt a bit more miffed, his wings riling up slightly, glowing a bit brighter to show his agitation, "I understand your fear, but I don't this it is applicable here and if you wanted me to call you by your name, you just had to say so,"

"What? Can't even do that without being told to?" Ulandra said snidely, giving a wide smirk to the arch-angel, "Afraid of your superiors?"

"I have nothing but respect for my comrades," Tyrael grumbled stiffly, "And you are being quite a nuisance right now,"

Ulandra only smirked wider, "Oh am I? Then I must be telling some sort of truth to be getting you all irritated! It is about the orders thing, isn't it? You really can't do anything without being told you can. Have you ever thought about just...stuffing the rules and doing what you must to battle Hell?" 

The arch-angel kept silent, staring out over Hell, his hands clenching slightly. Yes, he had thought about "stuffing the rules" as she put it, but he had done that far to many times now to get away with it again. Yet ever fiber in his being wanted to be out there, fighting Hell and showing the prime evils the fury of Heaven's fire.

"It does no good to simply ignore orders because you do not like them. It is not befitting of ones duty," Tyrael said, forcing his hands to uncurl from fists, "The rules were put in place for a reason,"

"Yeah, to keep you a whipped arch-angel in this case," Ulandra said leaning back, closing her eyes, "So can Hadriel come watch me?"

"No," Tyrael said as he got to his feet, stretching his wings, "Hadriel and you together is a recipe for disaster and chaos,"

"Then I won't fight Diablo," Ulandra said stubbornly getting to her own feet, "I'll just go trash the minions of Hell day in and day out until you let him come,"

"Then you can do this for eternity, Ulandra. You are mortal after all," Tyrael said with a sigh, feeling like he was talking to a two year old rather than a grown woman. Ulandra was so aggravating, and yet...

"Then I will!" Ulandra said back, clutching her staff close, "What is so wrong with having someone at your back , eh? Oh I know! You were afraid once of something and had no back out and you are taking it out on me!"

Tyrael's wings flexed, and he stared at her before giving a snort, "Me afraid? There is nothing I fear and I am not taking out anything on you, I am doing what is best for everyone,"

"I bet you are afraid of your mother. It's your mother right? Wait...do angels have mothers?" Ulandra paused, brow furrowed.

"Of course we have parents!" Tyrael said, exasperated at this point, "Now getting back to going to fight Diablo Uland-"

"So it is your mother! I knew it," Ulandra said with a smug look, "and no, we aren't getting back to Diablo. I'm not doing it. I hate millipedes!"

"Millepedes are harmless, idiotic, mud crawling insects! There is nothing to be afraid of!" Tyrael nearly shouted.

Ulandra remained silent, staring at Tyrael. The arch-angel stared back wondering why she had grown silent all of a sudden. Had she finally seen what he was saying? Had it finally sunk in that she had nothing to fear?

"Tyrael..." she began slowly, "Millipedes aren't insects. They are actually Myriapods,"

Tyrael stared at her, absolutely speechless as she smiled at him, basking proudly in the what knowledge she just shared with the arch-angel. Something in Tyrael finally snapped and he turned on his heels to stalk back up into the fortress proper, "Just be silent and go and kill Diablo before I break the rules in order to drop you head first in the nearest lava pool," he growled before stalking off.

Now it was Ulandra's time to blink after the retreating arch-angel's back, "What got his wings all in a tizzy? I didn't say anything wrong!"

The sorceress scowled and turned to stalk down towards Hell, fuming as in her mind, he had no right to speak that way to her, "Tyrael is such a ...such a...such a millipede sympathizer! He must like them and is against me for that!" she concluded before raising her staff and unleashing a wall of fire onto the approaching enemies.

"He is such a...a twit!" she declared as she got to work smiting the minions of Hell.

Meanwhile Deckard Cain paused to watch an angry Tyrael storm by, arching an eyebrow, "...Arch-Angel Tyrael...? What is the matter-"

"That woman! She is...she is the spawn of Hell!" Tyrael nearly shouted, his irritation clear. He continued on by, leaving behind a confused and alarmed Deckard Cain in his wake.

"...what did she even say to get you that angry?" the old man asked wearily out loud, speaking to the air as the arch-angel had already left.

Cain sighed and took a seat on a bench, "Now I know why they named it Pandemonium Fortress..." he mumbled to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Pandemonium, Please

Huzzah! Another chapter! I think it is just as mad as the last chapters if not more so! I really need to get more sleep...

As always, reviews are the fuel on which they ideas are baked on!

Also, it seems this story has a continuation going on now...Can it be!

Chapter 4: Breasts, I Dub Thee Divine

or otherwise entitled, Ulandra Has a Wardrobe Malfunction

Things had not changed since the time of the "millipede argument" as it had come to be known as. Both Tyrael and Ulandra refused to speak to the other keeping a frosty tension between the two. The sorceress went out and fought her way through hell and then came back covered in an assortment of foul smelling organs, blood, and other undefined masses of demon flesh and then went to sleep after washing up thoroughly.

It was the same day in and day out for the last couple of days. Deckard Cain watched Tyrael warily each day. He watched the archangel's shoulders hunch over more and more and he could almost hear the celestial commander grinding his teeth from across the room. Someone was going to snap and then a real hell would be unleashed between flaring tempers.

The elderly man was sitting on a bench, silently contemplating this odd turn of events when he heard an angry growl and a few mutter curses. Then Tyrael gracefully turned on his heels and took to wing, heading out of the fortress into Hell itself, causing Cain a bit of surprise. The horadrim mage knew that Tyrael was forbidden from directly taking part in the fight against the prime evils and that his place was here as an adviser. It did not bode well that he went charging into Hell, but then, Tyrael was more impatient, more hot headed then his comrades, supposedly. If what Hadriel had gossiped with Ulandra had any sort of truth to it, of course.

Even though Deckard Cain trusted in Tyrael's judgment and knew the archangel would do nothing to go against his orders, he still worried. Nothing good could come of this. He had a feeling in his bones about it. He sighed, shaking his head and sat back. He was getting too old to be caught up in such events.

Ulandra sliced through another demon with a roar, making sure the damn thing stayed down this time. As it lay twitching on the ground, she heaved a sigh, letting her form sag a bit. She was weary from another day of storming Hell and piling up the dead. That and she smelled like the business end of a horse.

"Ugh...but it is better than fighting the millipede fear demon," she murmured out loud wearily, taking a seat on a black stone, stretching out.

Her reprise was cut short as the form of Tyrael landed with a thump behind her, his posture aggressive, wings arched up as he was looking down at her, and from the heat of his gaze, no doubt he was glaring more then looking, "You are going to fight Diablo this day, Ulandra," he declared, "Even if I have to drag you to the gates of Diablo's lair myself!"

"You can't! That would be interfering Tyrael and you can't interfere you said!" Ulandra snapped back, her own eyes narrowing, stubbornly sticking her lower lip out in a pout.

The archangel's formed tensed more and his wings flared, "If you just so happen to fall into Diablo's lap and thus have to so happen fight him, I don't call that interfering! I call that making you do what you are already suppose to be doing on your own!"

All of Hell seemed to be echoing with their fight as Ulandra pulled herself to her full, not so intimidating height, covered in all manner of demon filth and gore and shoved a finger into Tyrael's chest, teeth bared in a snarl, "You try it and I'll kick you in your heavenly jewels! Just you watch!"

"You insolent, heathen, hag!" Tyrael roared back, his wings practically a glowing beacon of light for how angry he was growing.

The fight probably would have escalated even further and to even greater levels if it hadn't been for destiny's swift intervention. They were both at the peak of their anger, both ready to practically kill or at least attempt bodily harm, when the straps of Ulandra's nearly broken armor gave way. In slow motion the fabric fluttered away from her chest and not even the scenery of Hell, the piles of bodies, the tortured souls crying out across scorched earth or the gnashing teeth of legion of demons could dull the glory that was revealed.

Tyrael stared. He hadn't expected the...wardrobe malfunction at such a crucial time, one hand raised with a finger pointed accusingly at her, the insult dead on his lips, and his voice suddenly failing him as Ulandra's eyes widen and her face went crimson.

Then time finally careened forward and Ulandra shrieked, covering her chest with her arms, turning away from him, "You pervert! Stop staring at them like that!"

"I wasn't staring! I was just as surprised as you were!" Tyrael defended, taking a step back, turning his head and crossing his arms, "Why didn't you get your armor repaired sooner and avoided this?"

"Because you were at the fortress and you would have complained about me not fighting Diablo!" she whined, still hunched over to hide her heaven blessed mounds of divinity.

"I would not hassle you while you got your armor repaired! Especially if it avoided this entire situation!" Tyrael snapped back, his temper returning after his momentary shock.

"You saying I'm ugly now!" She demanded, whirling on her heels, arms still over her chest.

There were no words for his frustration. There was no words in Heaven, Hell or all the realms in between now to give voice to Tyrael's anger. The archangel was quivering, his wings outspread and his hands raised as if itching to wring her neck, "you...you...You're not bloody ugly just so damn bloody annoying son of a bitch damn hag!"

She blinked at Tyrael's uncharacteristic swearing, taking a step back, "You okay? You don't uh, usually swear like that..."

"Am I..." Tyrael just stared at her before he clenched his hands into fists and let out a scream of rage. If he could, he would rip out his wings, feed them to Diablo and then go rolling off into madness across the planes of Hell. He felt like just taking his sword and going to take out Diablo himself. He also felt like breaking down to his knees and asking why Heaven had made this woman thec champion of the Light.

Ulandra looked at him alarmed. He was so angry and she was wondering if he was going to try and kill her now. Perhaps pushing his buttons had not been the smartest...his buttons! Perhaps she had acted on that insane mortal logic that had made her jump headfirst into the maws of Hell, or maybe it was simply she didn't really know what to do to apologize to him without leaping topless at Diablo right that minute...but before she knew it she had dodged around behind him and threw herself against his back, hands finding and stroking his wings.

Tyrael froze as if someone had just hit him in the face with a frost nova repetitively. She froze when he tensed like that. Again, it was deathly silent in Hell. Even the tortured souls were silent, probably already disturbed by the odd exchange. After a pause, she slowly began to stroke them again, "I'm uh...sorry...you can calm down now and not unleash judgment on me now?"

The archangel was still rigid, hands in firsts at his side. She wondered if she had maybe put him into shock with her brazen move before he turned his head stiffly to look over his shoulder at her, "Unhand. My. Wings. Now. Please," he said in growl, sounding he was talking from between clenched teeth.

"You aren't going to kill me are you, Tyrael?" she said, working up a pout, trying to appear as innocent as possible.

Damn her. She was far from innocent. She was a lesser evil lovespawn! First she had him angry at her, then full blown rage, then complete shock, not once, but twice, and now...he gave a shudder and stepped away from her, "No, I won't kill you hero...you are just...aggravating. The world is at stake and you act so...childish..."

She sighed, turning her head, "Even heroes can be terrified...and I have a name you know. Ulandra. Say it with me now, U-lan-dra. Ulandra,"

Tyrael sighed and looked at her and then regretted he had, she was no longer modestly hiding her chest. He turned away quickly and took a steadying breath. He was an archangel, not some young cherub flitting about gazing fondly at women. But her touch was still burning a path through every nerve in his wings...

"I'll take my leave," he said quickly and took to wing, leaving her standing their confused, watching him go.

The fortress was too quite. It almost felt like everyone could sense the tension in the air and the archangel's brooding mood. He was sitting in a large chair before the fire, elbows on his knees and hands folded in front of him as he stared into the flickering flames. No one dared to disturb him. Ulandra had come back quietly and left her armor to get repaired then had disappeared up to her room and hadn't been seen since.

It almost felt like he should apologize, but for what? He sighed and raised a hand under his hood to rube his temples. He imagined this must be what having a mortal migraine felt like...

"Hey," A soft voice said next to him.

The archangel didn't turn to look at her, keeping his gaze fixed on the fire, "Mortal,"

Ulandra was dressed in a simple nightgown of white, her long hair done up in a simple braid and a soft white robe about her shoulders, "Tyrael...I'm...I'm sorry. Really I am terrified of fighting the lord of terror and what that is going to mean. I bet even you've been afraid of something before,"

"I would still do my duty," he said back.

She winced slightly at how short his tone was. It was silent again between them. She sighed then and reached out to lightly run her hands over a tendril of his wing, causing him to tense again, " I don't like fighting with you...I really don't," she murmured, "I'm sorry for disappointing you,"

Now he turned to look at her, trying to ignore her maddening touch on his wings, "I'm sorry for loosing my temper with you as well...Ulandra. Facing the lord of fear is...indeed a daunting task but I have faith in you,"

She smiled and then she leaned forward to plant a kiss to the side of his hood, causing him to tense up all over again. For the third time that day he found himself unable to form a coherent word. Ulandra blushed slightly and patted his shoulder, "I forgive you...say, if I go fight Diablo tomorrow and win, will you give me a prize?"

"You will have my eternal gratitude and the gratitude of Sanctuary," he said, "Why?"

"Not that kind of prize..."she whined lightly leaning in closer, "The kind of reward where you take me to heaven and back?"

He tilted his head slightly in confusion, "I am not at liberty to take you to Heaven Ulandra,"

"No, not that heaven!" She gave an exasperated sigh and before he could ask her what the blazes she was talking about, Ulandra slid into his lap and crossed her arms, "I mean a reward like I get an all inclusive pampering with your personal and close attention," she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

He just stared at her before he removed her from his lap and stood up, "We will talk about this after you kill Diablo, hero," he said, clearing his throat slightly.

"That isn't a no at least!" She said with a wide grin.

"Not like you will go take care of Diablo," He murmured going to lean an arm against the mantle of the fireplace.

Ulandra huffed, hands on her hips," Says you!"

"I have plenty of evidence to back up that view like he still lives after a week of being given the task," Tyrael replied curtly.

The sorceress pointed a finger at him, eyes narrowing as a fury seemed to awaken in her, "Just you wait Tyrael. Just you wait,"

He only gave a snort, turning to look the fireplace again, feeling some sort of small satisfaction in somehow getting under her skin for once. Ulandra gave one last stamp of her foot and shot one last glare before turning to stalk off, nose in the air grumbling under her breath.

The archangel's shoulders relaxed and the tendrils of his wings began to move about in a lazy fashion again rather then remaining rigid and flared up like a ruffled bird. He didn't understand her. He didn't understand her at all no matter how he tried to apply reason to her.

He gave a sigh and shook his head, turning to move to the balcony and from there, ascend back into the Heavens. It had been a very, very long day.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey look, the next chapter. WORD. This is something that has bugged me...the story starts in the fourth act, but Tyrael is met in the second act...so what happened in the second act and how can I show that without ruining the continuum of these stories? Answer? Flashback discussion. WORD.

I know this chapter is long overdo, but I got busy and just was tanking on ideas BUT here is the next chapter!

Enjoy the next installment in:

Chapter Five: It All Started With an Argument

she had finally left. That morning Ulandra had awoke and come up to Tyrael personally to inform him today was the day she would fight Diablo. She seemed a bit miffed that he had not even looked up at her from where he was seated, reading a book, only giving a casual, "Sure you will,"

She had promptly called him an ass afterwards which didn't seem to bother him anymore as it used to. There was something almost endearing now about her calling him all sorts of names that would make a demon blush. He, of course, responded with outlandish more "poetic" insults of his own. What had unsettled him was she had left quickly after he had snorted at her comeback, stalking down the steps and out into Hell again. It had been quite in the fortress for the last five hours.

Usually the silence would not have unsettled him so much or even at all. He always had enjoyed the silence, even had prayed for it when Ulandra and himself had gotten into one of their legendary arguments. Now though...

"Has she come by, Halbu?"

The kneeling champion of the light jumped a bit as he heard the voice of the archangel, opening his eyes and turning to beheld the glorious archangel, shaking his head, "No...she has not come back for armor repair,"

Tyrael gave a nod. Then there was silence again, Halbu curiously looking up at the somewhat agitated looking angel who stared off over the plains of Hell. The human gave a slight sigh, getting to his feet, "You wish to be in the battle yourself, don't you?"

"...perhaps..." was Tyrael's vague answer.

Halbu arched an eyebrow but didn't press the issue. Something else was bothering the archangel, but what? Tyrael may be the archangel of Justice, but the man was a very enigmatic angel, never direct, tended to dodge around questions, and never really explain what he was thinking. That and for an archangel, he had heard from Jamella that he was a fairly good dice player.

Tyrael's formed tense causing Halbu to blink and follow the archangel's gaze, squinting slightly at the shinning figure now coming towards Pandemonium Fortress. As they drew closer, Halbu could see it was the familiar form of Hadriel, the watchman of Diablo's lair. The other angel touched down lightly and gave a bow to Tyrael, his wings flashing outwards slightly, "She has entered Diablo's citadel, Lord Tyrael,"

"So she has," Tyrael said softly, his shoulders tensing more.

All this time he had wanted her to go and face Diablo. He had fought her about it, argued with her about it, by the light, the two had gotten into a philosophical debate with Cain about it at one point! He didn't know how the greater ideals of creation, free will, and mythical invisible forces had to deal with slaying Diablo, but then, he really didn't understand Ulandra period. Yet now she was off to fight Diablo and now he felt like going after her and telling her she didn't have to.

He shifted slightly, clenching his hand a bit in irritation. She was in danger, but she had defeated Mephisto and many other demons. She could handle Diablo...but what...what if he did turn into a millipede?

As soon as that thought crossed his mind, he went rigid as if he had been hit in the face and with a low growl, turned on his heals marching back up to his spot by the fireplace. Hadriel and Halbu exchanged a quick glance before Hadriel cautiously followed after him, "My lord? I thought you would be well...in better spirits after hearing that she has gone to confront the lord of terror?"

"I should, shouldn't I?" Tyrael snapped, hunching his shoulders, "I should, but I'm now convinced Diablo is turning into a damn millepede and chasing her around in circles or she has been killed already by the demon because she tried to do something foolish!"

Hadriel looked taken aback somewhat, his wings flaring up in surprise at the outburst, "Millepedes? But isn't that from the whole argument you two-"

"Yes! That damn woman is spreading her madness!" Tyrael snarled throwing his hands up in the air, "This fortress is beginning to live up to its name the moment she stepped foot in it! I'm surprised Hell has not surrendered in the face of her unending tirades, and ridiculous notions!"

The other angel took a step back from Tyrael but he gave a small chuckle, shaking his head, "Despite all that, the two of you both tend to rant the same ways when in a temper. You sound just like her when she is complaining about you,"

"Oh? Complaining about me?" Tyrael growled, hunching his shoulders, "and what exactly does she say about me?"

Only a fool would not have missed the danger in that question. Hadriel tensed and swallowed a bit even though the action was unnecessary for a celestial being like himself, "Eh..I rather not say sir, well...it just deals a lot about where you have...various objects shoved up,"

Tyrael snorted, "How original of her and you say we complain the same way. The very idea,"

"She said the same thing when I told her the same thing," Hadriel blurted taking another step back as Tyrael slowly turned around again, wings flicking out in a more agitated fashion.

"We have very, very little in common, Hadriel. She is...intolerable,"

There was a moment of silence as the archangel sighed and turned to stare into the fire. Hadriel shifted from one foot to the other, glancing away, "For someone so intolerable, I would say...you actually are really fond of her ways. I think you enjoy how she fights you..."

"I would suggest you hold your tongue unless you would like me to show you a bit of righteous and very furious justice," Tyrael growled, not even bothering to turn around.

Hadriel sighed, letting his wings sag, "I think she has really rubbed off on you Tyrael. You might not want to admit it, but I bet from the start you felt...some sort of enjoyment in having a fight again and not just sitting back and watching. You always were one to want to entice a fight," he murmured before slowly turning around and heading to his own room.

Tyrael was silent. He didn't acknowledge the other angel leaving as he stared into the flickering flames of the fire. Their first meeting...he hadn't forgotten it for a moment. It wasn't a significant moment, nothing as grand as deciding the fate of Sanctuary or battling against the forces of Hell or attempting to stop the revival of Baal, but it seemed always so clear in his memory even compared to those more grandeur memories.

He had been weak from the battle, his energy fading even as he stood trapped within the tomb that once had held Baal. Slumped against the wall, sword planted point down between his legs, he had sat there, fuming angrily. How could he have been so careless? Now because of his own damnable compassion and faith in humanity, Baal was now free and traveling with Diablo no doubt to the far east where Mephisto had been locked away...and there was nothing he could do but sit her and wallow in his new found prison. A new wave of anger ran through him and his hands tightened on the pommel of his sword. Even now all of hell could be destroying Sanctuary or even onwards to the High Heavens while he was trapped her, useless and probably would remain trapped here until all of eternity.

He leaned his forehead against the pommel of his sword, heaving a deep angry sigh, wings tensed up and held close to his body like an agitated bird. What a joke of an archangel he had turned out to be...

Then there had been thrums, sounds of battle. Tyrael looked up as he heard the rumbles above, his wings going still as he pressed his senses towards the disturbance. He could feel the crushing evil of some mighty demon left behind, most likely a lesser evil of hell, but which one he could not tell. The very feel of it made the angel's very being thrum with disgust. His hands curled tighter over the pommel of his sword as he felt that presence and knew he could do nothing against it, could do nothing but stew in his own loathing of his jail keeper...and yet...something was off.

It was faint at first, but it was growing. Another presence. This one was more like fire, a sort of comforting warm glow emitting from it but it was growing, turning into a blaze, scorching, but it sent a sort of excited thrill through Tyrarel. He had felt this spirits before, it had been close to Deckard Cain for a while now, someone whom he rarely let out of his angelic senses. It was the hero. He had been expecting them of course...had expected them a lot earlier when he could have used their help in stopping Diablo and his brother Baal here before they had time to gather their strength further. However, they still could kill the guardian to his prison...they could still free him.

He rose to his feet and without even a flap of his wings, rose into the air lightly, sheathing his sword, all his thoughts and senses turned towards the battle beyond his prison, bending all his senses to it, trying to see the battle yet all he could feel was that clash of energy beyond the wards of his prison. Then, the foul aura of the demon vanished and the air, so thick before as if the heat of the room was coming close to suffocate him, now felt light and cool. Evil purged from the halls of the tomb for the first time since the sealing of Baal. There was a rumble above and the wards once keeping him caged in this chamber like a bird, gave way.

Tyrael had been impatient at that moment, perhaps that is what would be one of the catalysts for the eventual argument to soon follow at that first meeting, but he had forced himself to wait for the hero to arrive rather than flutter off, if nothing more than to point them in the right direction after the two already freed prime evils. Thus the first impression of Ulandra was set.

The bloody woman loved to take her sweet time getting anything done.

Nearly half an hour had passed and he feared the hero had died before she came waltzing down, without a scratch on her, humming, and smiling at him as if she hadn't known he had been waiting there for so long. She probably hadn't realized that, but in his anger, somehow he had convinced himself that Ulandra had done this on purpose to vex him.

"I had expected you earlier," he said, making a sloppy attempt at sounding civil.

The smile on her face faded a bit as she quirked an eyebrow at him, "Greetings, I'm Ulandra. I'm doing fine by the way, just kicking the ass of that slug demon and nearly got killed so had to heal up rather than drag my bloody body down her to bleed out at your feet," she drawled sarcastically, "So what are you suppose to be with the glowing tentacles and mysterious stranger look? Some sort of glow demon?"

And thus in the blink of an eye, all thoughts of trying to be civil were burned up like parchment in a fireplace, "I am an angel you idiotic mortal! I came here to stop the prime evils-"

"and looks like you really did a good job of that," She quipped back, interrupting him, "Seriously, I thought you angels were all powerful,"

"Even an archangel like myself would be hard press to fight not one, but two of the prime evils," he growled low, his wings spread out in agitation.

"Oh, archangel. Guess that explains the fancy sword and armor...soooo...now what happens?"

He blew out a frustrated sigh and resisted the urge to drop his forehead into the palm of his hand, "We go after them and stop them from raising Mephisto from his bindings if they have not done so already,"

"That's a good idea! I bet with an archangel helping me, we can char-broil the lot of em in-"

"I am not helping you directly. I'm forbidden," Tyrael said with a shake of his head.

Ulandra pursed her lips at him, eyes narrowing, "Isn't coming down here to fight with them already intervening and helping out even if it did end in utter failure?"

Tyrael gave a low growl at this, "It is not the same. This is a loophole," he snapped, "Just go to Lut Gholien and go East to the jungle city of Kurast. Mephisto was sealed beneath the temple there,"

"Wait, you sealed the lord of hate under a paladin temple? Could you have made it anymore obvious? At least with Baal you had the sense to hide it in a less than obvious location," She grumbled, shaking her head, "I guess the high heavens were short on brains for that one,"

"For your information mortal, it was my idea," Tyrael snapped.

"Damn, you really have no mind for planning these things out do you?" she drawled, crossing her arms.

Tyrael felt a growing dislike for this woman and her combative nature. He wondered if she had simply talked whatever poor demon had been guardian his prison to death with her useless banter. The archangel crossed his arms, wings held up in agitation as he looked down at her, "Enough of this. Just get moving hero. Time is of the essence,"

"So you going to teleport me there?" She asked, tilting her head.

"I do not have the energy for that right now," he admitted gruffly,"I can open a portal to Lut Gholein and from there you could secure passage by ship,"

She gave a groan, shoulders slumping at the mention of "ship", shaking her head, "I can't get on a ship, I get sea sick!"

"Sea sick! The world is in peril and you are concerned about sea sickness?" he blurted out completely in shock at this mortal woman.

She rolled her eyes, "oh easy for you to say with those big glowing...wing things on your back. I'll get on the damn ship and go to the jungle and do what you couldn't do, kick their asses and then come back to gloat,"

"If you can even do this, and defeat the three, I'll listen to your gloating without a single word of retort. I highly doubt it though, "Tyrael growled, shaking his head.

"oh? You doubt the mighty Ulandra? Well then, you just sit your pretty little angel behind right down and let me show you how its done," She scoffed, tossing her head a bit and shooting him a challenging look, "Promise though that if I do defeat the trio, you'll do whatever I want,"

"Whatever you want?" Tyrael drawled, tilting his head. He paused, thinking for a while before sighing and reaching out a hand to shake on the deal, "fine, I give you my word,"

She took his hand, a surprisingly firm grip, and shook on their odd bargain, "Good, now open the portal would you? I am not going to use my last town portal," she huffed, "you are wasting time now!"

He just stared at her for a while before raising a hand and opening the portal, giving a most gracious of bows, "Of course, would hate to waste your time," he growled.

"You better believe it," she said with a huff before stepping through the portal, it closing behind her.

Tyrael gave a chuckle though. He hadn't opened a portal to Lut Gholein. He opened one to the middle of the desert. Perhaps it was...a bit more passive aggressive then was normal for him, but as the archangel of justice, it was a punishment fitting of her banter.

With one last sigh he had left that place, taking to the air again and returning back to the high heavens, although, she had remained in his mind, irritating him still. And he had continued to think about her as he stewed in the high heavens, watching the world carefully and tracking her progress. She was...unlike other of her kind. She was rash, foolhardy, prone to banter with people and even taunt the enemies, yet she still succeeded. She had a will that wasn't unlike his own. A sort of bull headed tenacity he could very well relate too. He never forgot that first meeting because there was something else in it...something he still hadn't been able to put his finger on...

Tyrael gave a sigh as he shook his head, pulling his mind back from those memories. He was already unsettled enough by how much she affected him. On one hand he wanted her gone from his sights for good, yet on the other...

On the other hand he couldn't bare to be far from her. But after she had defeated Diablo, something he had confidence she could achieve, what then? She would destroy his soul stone, yes, but then...then...

Tyrael curled his hands into fist and his wings flared in sudden agitation. Why did her leaving make him feel so off? It was if his resonance was skipping, riddling him with small hollows throughout his body. He would miss her. She was a fine warrior of the light. That was all.

But he knew he was simply lying to himself at this point. If he acknowledged the truth though, he would be no better than his brother Inarius in having such forbidden feeling. Yet his mind was still wandering there, going to dark, sinful places that he had no business thinking about and the worse part was he was getting a wicked thrill. The look Imperius would give him if he could glimpse what he, the acrchangel of justice, was thinking might be worth it...

"By the light, what madness has she inspired in me? Next I'll be turning cartwheels across the counsel chambers..." Tyrael groaned, shaking his head.

"That would be amusing to see..." a voice said from across the chamber.

Tyrael tensed and turned, relief flooding through him. Ulandra stood there, grinning lopsidedly, her clothing torn up, armor damaged and her hair scraggly and clinging to all the dirt, blood, and other hellish muck covering her body but she still looked radiant.

"You've returned hero," he said giving a nod to her, "Did you retrieve Diablo's soul gem?"

She gave a nod, rolling her eyes as she held up the gem," yeah, yeah. I got it right here. But that isn't important. What did you mean madness and what about cartwheels?"

Tyrael silently cursed, wings tensing as he glanced away, "I was referring to you and the madness you inspire. I honestly began to worry Diablo would become a millepede and end up chasing you about in circles," he grumbled.

Ulandra blinked before she began to laugh, shaking her head, "Ha! I did worm my way in with that idea! Well, he didn't turn into a millepede so nothing to worry about Tyrael," she said with a smile, patting his arm.

"I wasn't worried about that," Tyrael snapped. She arched an eyebrow, taking in his tense form, how his wings were spread wide, the ends licking at the walls of the room, and if he had visible eyes, they would focused on her. She stared back at him for a bit before reaching a hand up to pat the side of his cowl gently, "I know. I was worried about you too. How on earth will you ever relax without me around to keep you on your toes?"

He gave a chuckle, his form relaxing, although an odd anxiety still gnawed at the back of his mind, "Keep me on my toes? You mean what will I do without you constantly there to insult me?"

"I'm just toughening you up so you can handle demons as well as I can," She said with a wide grin.

Tyrael just snorted, "Handle a demon? Ha. Child's play to handle a demon,"

Ulandra just grinned wider and stepped closer, walking her fingers up his breast plate, causing him to tense and his resonance to intensify, like an odd burning warmth that suddenly began to build throughout his form, "But is it child's play to be able to handle the archangel Tyrael?"

He just stared at her, head slowly tilting when she said that and his wings tensing up again, shocked at the very audacity of what she had just suggested, the innuendo very clear. Tyrael cleared his throat turning around to stare into the fire, "hmph. The soul stone is to be destroyed as soon as -"

"After I get a bath, a good nights rest AND, " she paused giving a wicked smirk, "my other agreed upon prize,"

Tyrael tensed again and turned to try and explain to her that it was somewhat of an impossibility to do anything of that sort between them, to try and explain there was a lot of risk, but she had already scampered off to her bedchambers.

His entire form was still humming though with that bizarre but oddly pleasant burning sensation, his wings arched and glowing more then usual. He was an angel, his ...reactions to situations were different being he was not comprised of mortal flesh but was rather made of pure light and sound. This feeling and slight intensity of his resonance here...

Tyrael gave a growl and tried to force himself to relax and not think about her words but rather on how he was going to explain that they really couldn't do what she had in mind, well at least not legally. Angels consorting with demons had been a bad enough affair and her he was considering to extend the affair to these mortals. Considering...?

The archangel let out growling noise, straightening up and turning to stalk to his chambers trying to push those thoughts of consorting with Ulandra in anything more than a professional way far from his mind. But it was like a tick, worming its way under his skin, sinking deeper and deeper until it would take most drastic measures to get off.

He gave a sigh and raised a hand to rub where his face would be, an action he had picked up from Cain, "What have I gotten myself into?"


End file.
